Let's Get Physical

No, this isn't about Olivia Newton-John or how the only way she will find the guy she was banging is with a rod and reel. I really need to get my heart/blood pressure medication filled. I took the low-grade prescription that my doctor gave me in May and when that didn’t work the dose was doubled. I never got that stronger dose filled, maybe it is because I get swollen ankles that hurt when I walked on them and the medication read that it caused “impotence and loss of libido”. Some days it made me feel like Jason Leigh in Mallrats when Shannon Doherty told him that he had “no libido to attack”. I suppose I should look into getting that taken care of soon, since I do want to live past 28, but I will take my time getting over to Rite Aid.

I decided to do my other heart-healthy initiative and finally join the gym like I have talked about for about two months now. With the cold weather setting in and my gut looming like The Blob over my belt it is time to hit the pool for the winter time. I am one of those people that can’t do treadmills or exercise bikes. It is just too difficult for me to run in place for an hour on end. The multitudes of hyper-bikers around me all seem to be working harder and are in-shape for this sort of thing, so a picture of me huffing and puffing while “Hit Me Baby One More Time” plays over the sound system just isn’t appealing. At least with a pool I can pretend that no one else is around. I am joining Merritt, which has a multi-ethnic group of people pointing at me every time I go to the website. I don’t know if this is Rainbow Coalition circle jerk or a collection of people telling me they won’t talk to me once I enroll. Apparently the multi-hued clique will simply point at and openly mock me at every turn. After looking at the offerings I am pretty sure I will not consider enrolling in any of the following classes:

Body Pump

AB Blast

Power Yoga

Super Body Sculpt

City Rhythms

I might have to buy a pair of tight biker’s shorts for when I play racquetball with my friends so I can disgust them into a forfeit, but that will come with time.